He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
