i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
