bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
