i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
