She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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