We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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