How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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