Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
