It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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