What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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