You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
