You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
