I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
