I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
zippers are such a cool invention
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
