I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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