Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
