i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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