i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found puke in my bra..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
