on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
