So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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