sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
