At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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