I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
