he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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