you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
