He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
