My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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