i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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