If that was your dad, he is hot
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize