I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Boobs are out for the taking
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
