Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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