Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
