Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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