kristin has been a bad kristin
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
