I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize