ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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