Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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