so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
