Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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