I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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