Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
