he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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