He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
