Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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