Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this just has baby written all over it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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