but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
