yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
