I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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