just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
