we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
