She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
