My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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