I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
