I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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