Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize