You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
