Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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