oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
