My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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