I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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