Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
