last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize