The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
